Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize