Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my being single is dangerous.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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