I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
