NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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