Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you didnt know i had herpes?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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