Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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