ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize