If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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