I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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