singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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