I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
