I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
