Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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