billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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