all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize