Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
