put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
