Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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