the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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