I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize