Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
