Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
