We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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