Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
