your room smells of hookers.
And success
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was like eating out sand paper
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
