Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
