I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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