I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize