it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
