maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
