Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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