And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
