it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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