Kiss
Puke
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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