I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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