I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize