gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
