I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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