she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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