Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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