so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
