so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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