one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
