I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
