After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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