She announced her abortion via fbk
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
