Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
