Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
