For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
