Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize