just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
