That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
