i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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