Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
