why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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