my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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