farters have to be the big spoon...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
