I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
