don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
