I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just found a bag of teeth...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
