how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
