the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
