im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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