Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
