yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
