Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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