if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
