not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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