I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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