in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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