This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
