Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
