I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
